february

february is almost over but strangely i can't seem to remember anything happening at all. either the month was totally uneventful or my memory is deteriorating. maybe it's both. valentine's day my dad bought me flowers - a single rose and two carnations with a note "to my dear vivian" attached. there are ten more days, but i'm thinking that that just might be the highlight of my february.

warrior

first round of midterms down. pleasant surprise: i actually aced my calculus midterm. not so pleasant: one mo-fucking point away from an A for theater design. how annoying. and really not too well on my econ. still waiting to hear on my religious studies paper (which i have an ominous feeling about) and my theater presentation. my partner and i felt totally juvenile, as we sat on the floor with glue sticks and construction paper. weren't poster board projects over with in grade school???

agenda for this weekend:
- kim chen down from berkeley
- haircut
- fish tacos
- lacma (not only have i been meaning to see the vanity fair and german expressionism exhibits for quite some time, i also have to write an essay on an art piece for design class...)
- valentines DAY with my bestie (can we get pho? i want hot food.)
- i just want to stay warm (i feel like i've been cold for three days straight.)

shit

i'm falling behind in school work.
not good.

i feel like i'm on some psycho nonstop treadmill - the workload's piling up and i'm running and struggling to stay on top of it all. the situation is definitely not looking very favorably right now...

time to play a serious game of catch up!

ps: i finally watched slumdog millionaire over the weekend. i'm not sure what it was about the movie, but i was completely emotionally overwhelmed. emotionally overwhelmed as in i cried three times. highly recommend.

because it's friday night

i think it'd be hilarious if everyone danced like this at parties. who needs the gym when you have riot grrrl music to completely lose your mind to??? hahahah.

where does the time go

i have things to do but all i want to do is nothing. it seems my life is plagued by perpetual laziness. my sister's life is a cycle of classes and womens rugby and research labs and volunteering at the childrens hospital, fueled by an overbearing sense of motivation. (quite the renaissance woman, non?) my life is a cycle of listening to music and reading non-academic books and shopping and napping and eating. my parents always tell me that it would do me well if i emulated my sister's ways, but truth be told i wouldn't have it any other way.

above: sensible julia and psycho-weirdo vivian. apparently not much has changed, though we (thankfully) no longer wear matching denim jackets.

self-efficacy is key

everything will be ok.
everything will be ok.
everything will be ok.
repeat a hundred more times.

need to keep telling myself this, in order to keep total insanity at bay.

calculus is torturous, i may or may not have somewhere to live next year, i may or may not get kicked out of the honors program due to a lack of honors sections (due to my own stupidity; long story)... BUT after three days of bitching & whining, it's time to get over it. go optimism. :)

new year

besides cutting back on desserts (can you say chocolate overload this break or what?) and maintaining good grades, my new years resolution this year is simply to enjoy myself. i've recently come to the realization that there really is no better time to enjoy life than now.

2008 is a tough year to beat. so many good times and so much personal growth... but here's to an even better year with 2009, i hope!